You know you have talked with your teen about your expectations when it comes to alcohol and drugs. You probably talked about the dangers of using, the legal and health consequences, etc. But did you know that your teen might not remember this conversation? When teens in District 113 were asked if their parents talked with them about not using alcohol, 1/3 of them responded "no" or they "did not remember".

To be effective, conversations regarding drugs and alcohol must continue on a consistent basis.  There are lots of moments each day to have these discussions with your child:

• After watching a TV show or a movie.
• While cooking or eating dinner.
• After a school sporting event or activity.
• While reading about teen issues/current events online or in the newspaper.
• While you are driving in the car.
  

HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN TALKING WITH YOUR CHILD.

1. Set clear rules and expectations.
Discuss the rules and what behavior you expect. For example:
Alcohol use can cause long-term damage to a developing brain and has several risks associated with it. The law says that you have to be 21 to drink for these reasons. Our family follows the law.

Marijuana use is illegal and is harmful. We expect that you will make healthy decisions to protect yourself and your future and that you do not use marijuana.

Discuss consequences for breaking the rules and make sure to enforce them should violations occur.  Remain consistent with holding your child accountable for their actions.  An example of enforcing a consequence may be:

Because you stayed at a party where there was no adult supervision and where people were drinking, you're not going anywhere - no football games, no movies, nowhere - for one week.  I am really upset and disappointed that you broke a family rule that we previously discussed.

Make sure that your child understands that the rules are to be adhered to at all times.  In addition, make sure that you are setting a good example. Children notice when their parents say one thing and do another.  For example, if your family has a rule about drunk driving, make sure that you never get in the car when you have been drinking or with somebody who has.

2. Make it safe.
Teens want respect just as much as you do.  If you come off as judgmental or accusatory, they will back away from the conversation.  Engage them in the conversation -  use facts to initiate conversations that may lead to answers you are looking for.  For example:

I just read that 69% of High School sophomores in our school district, report NOT having used alcohol in the last month. How does this number compare to what you see and believe to be true?1

Or perhaps, your child comes home smelling of marijuana.  Your initial reaction may be to yell or react over emotionally.  The best response should be calm and serious.

I’m really upset that you are smoking marijuana. I need to get a handle on how often this has been happening and what your experiences have been so far. I get that you’re worried about being in trouble, but the worst part of that moment is over – I know that you’re experimenting. The best thing you can do now is really be straight with me, so for starters, tell me about what happened tonight…

3. Be a good listener.
Ask questions and encourage your child to express their points of view. Try paraphrasing what your child has just communicated to you so that they know you understood them. Showing your willingness to listen will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you.

4. Recognize good behavior.
Giving your child daily positive reinforcements, communicating respect, and showing an interest in your teens' life will help him or her feel safer coming to you when problems do emerge.

For more help on how to talk with your kids about drugs or alcohol, please visit:

Parents. The Anti-Drug’s Conversation Tips
Take Time To Talk